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Post by Hidemi (Hi) no Hana on Jun 14, 2012 14:22:45 GMT -5
Hi smiled softly, "The beginning is always the place to start." To be honest, this was the first time that she was actually using her therapist and psychiatrist skills. She was excited that she was finally using them and glad that Kyou was a willing subject. She sat back on the bench and looked at him, giving him her full attention, "I'm all ears." She smiled again and shifted until she got comfortable (just about as comfortable as anyone could get on a wooden bench) But then she settled, and she sat giving off an aura of safety, where one could not be judged.
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Post by Kyou Takeda on Jun 15, 2012 0:07:41 GMT -5
He nodded, thinking. The issue had only really begun in high school... He supposed that was as good a place to talk as any... "Well, she's been looking out for me for a long time... She's actually the reason I even passed high school, she tutored me whenever I didn't understand things and made sure I did my work and didn't drop out..." An uncommon feat, most people didn't make it beyond middle school, preferring to drop out when they got into the clans.
"And even though she's smart, and a great artist, she's stuck with me through everything because she knows I'm not really... I'm not really confident or social or anything without her around." He frowned. "She even passed up full-ride scholarships to stay with me, she could have gotten out of the city, out of the clans and the war for a while just to study and improve her art but she passed it up because of me..." There was a knot working it's way into his throat, and it was taking Kyou a bit of effort to keep saying all of this out loud, so he stopped for the moment. Pausing to let himself calm down and relax and maybe let Hi get a word in edgewise.
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Post by Hidemi (Hi) no Hana on Jun 15, 2012 14:12:43 GMT -5
Hi leaned forward, "I see your problem here, so you think that it is your fault that she stayed." She thought it over, "Your sister, is an artist, correct? Is her work very popular?" She questioned. Although Kyou looked like he was having a hard time talking about it. It was good to let these kinds of thoughts reach the surface. It was also good to get someone else's opinion, even though she didn't know his sister and had only met this boy thirty minutes ago, but she was always good at making friends.
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Post by Kyou Takeda on Jun 16, 2012 1:21:42 GMT -5
Kyou frowned. "See, that's just it... She's not confident enough to show her work... Only a few people have ever seen her paintings but they all agree that she's really good..." He sighed. "An' maybe I'm stupid for thinking it, but I think if she hadn't been spending so much time tutoring me she could have spent more time on her art and gotten more confident at what she was doing... and if she went to college" He he paused, realizing that he was rushing in talking and if he continued he was likely going to trip over his words.
"If she went to college," He started again. "She's be in that artist-y environment and stuff, and she'd get comfortable with showing her work and she'd get even better..." He glanced down at his hands, which were fiddling anxiously at the strap of his camera bag. He felt so guilty for keeping Ayumu in the city, but he was so scared at the thought that she might leave him, even if it was for a brighter future...
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Post by Hidemi (Hi) no Hana on Jun 16, 2012 12:35:31 GMT -5
"Kyou." She sighed, a scooted over towards him, "Look at me, I don't think that it's your fault. This is coming from some who isn't at all related to you. I don't know you or your sister, I'm completely unrelated." She paused, "But I think, from what you have told me, that this is not your fault."
She hesitated, but then put a gentle hand over Kyou's fiddling fingers, "You and your sister have been together since birth, it is only natural that you wish to be with each other. But..." She took in a deep breath, "I don't think that it's just that, your sister is shy, she doesn't show her work, I think she might be afraid of change."
She smiled, "You two have been together for so long that you don't know what to do when something new comes along. Your sister, she needs a push in the right direction, but so do you." Her smile widened, "So don't feel guilty Kyou, what you and your sister are doing is completely natural in fact, I would be surprised if you didn't cling together."
She squeezed his hand, "So don't feel guilty, in realty, it's kind of both your fault." She shook her head, "Your sister cares about you, more then anyone else, her reason to stay might have been for you, but I think she was really afraid to jump into the big world by herself. So she used you as an excuse not to. Your sister is just a shy, talented girl who needs a shove in the right direction. It's natural for you to want her to stay as well, your twins."
She smiled, "You want to be inseparable." She gave his hand another squeeze before she let go, "So that's what I think Kyou." She looked at him, what she had said was true, she only hoped that he believed it.
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Post by Kyou Takeda on Jun 17, 2012 22:00:01 GMT -5
Kyou listened and after a few moments, nodded. That... might actually make sense... The more he thought about it, the more sense it began to make. Gosh, was THIS what therapy was for? Making things make sense for once? He squeezed Hi's hand in return and gave a small smile. "Okay." He finally said. This whole conversation was making him think that maybe, just maybe, if he distanced himself a little from his sister (not totally, mind you, he'd NEVER want that to happen) then maybe she would wind up more confident.
Besides, the city seemed to hold two types of people, stagnant and lively. Maybe it was time for him to be the latter over the former. He'd have to implement the plan after he put a bit more thought into it. Didn't want to wind up having it bite him in the ass, now did he?
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Post by Hidemi (Hi) no Hana on Jun 17, 2012 22:43:22 GMT -5
Hi smiled, "I'm glad that I actually helped you." This was true, Hi had never used her therapist techniques on anyone before, and she was glad that it went so well. Kyou seemed to be taking it well too. She scratched the back of her head and said, "Actually I'm really glad I didn't confuse you... I mean, you are my first therapy session, to be honest." She laughed, she was still new at this, to be honest, she had only been a doctor for two years and mainly she worked with bullet wounds and not mental or emotional issues.
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Post by Kyou Takeda on Jun 22, 2012 22:33:59 GMT -5
((Sorry for lack of posts!! D8> I was helping wrap up a massive arc-ending in the plantation manor and got a bit wrapped up in it... but I'm posting now!! ^^" Sorry for lateness...))
Kyou laughed a bit along with her. "I'm kinda surprised..." He mused. "Both that that was your first therapy session and that I didn't wind up confused... That's pretty easy to do, confuse me I mean..." Well, that was true. He had been muddled for nearly a year about what to do with him and Seishy, and in retrospect he wasn't sure how he had missed all the signals... It was easy to confuse him in most matters, it seemed, but Hi had been direct enough to avoid that.
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Post by Hidemi (Hi) no Hana on Jun 22, 2012 23:06:31 GMT -5
((OOC: It's all good! )) Hi giggled, "Well then, I'm really glad I didn't confuse you." She smiled at him, "Well it is true that this is my first session, I'm usually stitching up, uh..." Her parents flashed in front of her eyes, a moment she was lost in the thought before finishing her sentence, "Bullet wounds." She pushed that memory out, and spoke the last part as if nothing had happened at all. This often happened on her job, she thought about her parents a lot. The blood, the bullets, even just the regular people brought with them, good and bad memories with her parents. She was just like them, and aimed to be them. This was a curse in a way but also a gift, she worked so hard and put in all her effort, but it was toward the impossible. It pushed her to the edge, and sometimes beyond, but she could never be two people! She was just one person, and sometimes she was so worn down, that she considered just giving up all together.
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Post by Kyou Takeda on Jun 24, 2012 15:00:04 GMT -5
Kyou's gaze grew concerned at the pause about the wounds. People didn't just hesitate unless there was something on their minds... He sure hoped Hi wouldn't mind his prying but he couldn't just NOT ask after that. "Hi, y'know, listening can go both ways..." He tried, giving a comforting smile. "Just cuz I'm not a psychiatrist doesn't mean I can't at least lend an ear if you need to talk too..." He had certainly felt much better after telling Hi everything, he wanted to help his new friend out if he possibly could.
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Post by Hidemi (Hi) no Hana on Jun 24, 2012 17:27:49 GMT -5
Hi scratched her head, "It's a really long and depressing story... I don't know if you really want to hear it." She smiled, it was true, the things she had to say weren't happy in the slightest. She didn't want to depress him after he felt so much better. She waved her hand, "Unless you really want to listen... it's pretty sad." She stopped her babbling before it could start and looked at her feet. The ground was a really good place to look at, to try to stop herslef from crying.
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Post by Kyou Takeda on Jun 26, 2012 17:14:16 GMT -5
Kyou shook his head at that. "No, I DO wanna hear it... And you need to talk about it, I think... So even if you don't want advice, you can at least get it off your chest..." He gave a tentative smile. "I promise you'll feel better if you do." He could attest to that, just moments ago he had felt the relief. So he had no reason to suspect Hi wouldn't...
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Post by Hidemi (Hi) no Hana on Jun 26, 2012 21:07:25 GMT -5
Hi smiled, "Okay." She took a deep breath, "I was sixteen when my parents passed away." She paused, hesitating, as if she wasn't sure if she could continue.
Hi spoke sadly, "The day that they passed away, I had spent all night studying for a test and was sleeping soundly when my parents got a emergency call. They usually took me with them, because I wanted to be a doctor then, like them."
She smiled at the thought and shook her head, "Someone had been shot, and they went to go help them. By the time I woke up, they had already gone to the scene." She took a deep breath, but her voice shook as she spoke, "I was worried, my parents always came back by morning, or if they weren't, they would have called me and told me so. But they hadn't, so I looked for the address because my mother always wrote it down, in case something happened... I took my parents' car, although I was breaking the law because I still had my permit, but at the time I didn't care."
She voice shook with a steady tremor, as she tried to control her emotions, "By the time I had gotten there, there was nothing I could do. They had been in the middle of a gang war and while trying to get an injured man out of the line of fire, they both were killed." She swallowed, her throat felt like it would close at any second, "After I cried for awhile, I called the police, once they arrived, they asked if I had anyone that I wanted to call... so I called Seishy."
A tear went down her face, and she wiped it away quickly, "We went to the hospital together and I stayed with Seishy until I went away to college. By that time I had inherited my parents' money and could support myself... I took advanced classes and graduated when I was twenty. I rushed into my career so that, maybe I could safe some else's parents."
More tears came down her face, she wiped them away angrily, upset that she was so weak in front of someone. She was supposed to be strong, "Sorry." She said as she continually wiped away unwanted tears.
"But," She continued, "I think about them all the time on my job, especially when Seishy gets hurt." She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, "What if he ended up like them? What if I couldn't save him? He makes me worry twenty-four-seven, he's... the only family that I've got a-and I don't want to bury anyone else." Her emotions overcame her, and she put her head in her hands and hid her face from Kyou. She never wanted anyone to she her like this.
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Post by Kyou Takeda on Jul 7, 2012 1:29:04 GMT -5
Kyou couldn't help but feel sad and sorry for Hi. His heart went out to the girl... It wasn't hard to put himself in her shoes... If he had lost two of the most important people in his life...
He didn't even want to THINK of how he'd react, and he moved a bit closer to Hi and gave the woman a hug. Goodness knew she looked like she needed one, and Kyou wasn't adverse to hugging people once he knew them. "Just from that," He said softly. "I think you might just be the strongest person I've ever met..." It wasn't an empty compliment either, and he meant every word of it. He certainly wouldn't have been able to go on very well had something like that happened to him.
And as for Seishy... He had to admit, the other Tora managed to worry him too. With the amount of bar fights he had been witness to (and been IN) around the tall Tora that was pretty unavoidable.
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Post by Hidemi (Hi) no Hana on Jul 7, 2012 23:21:28 GMT -5
Hi accepted his hug, even though she didn't move for a bit. She needed to breath in deeply before she spoke, "Thank you." She rubbed at her eyes, sure that her make-up was probably smearing. She put one of her arms around Kyou's and squeezed it hard before letting go.
She smiled, "Really, thank you Kyou. For listening... but I don't know if I'm being strong..." She paused, "I could be... strong I mean, but I just don't feel strong, all I really feel is..." She paused again, thinking of a word to describe this unknown feeling, "I feel, exhausted." Yes, that was the word she had been looking for.
All her worrying took it's toll, and she didn't know what to do. She had nowhere to turn because most people said that she was strong. But, strength was not something she felt at all, and it was quite the opposite. So many things were falling on her shoulders, and heavy weight pushing her down. Although she never gave in and fought through it, she was so tired. So very tired.
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